But, are your kids socialised?
My perspective on this frustratingly common question about my home educated kids
The most common question or concern I get from both friends and strangers about home educating my kids is about socialisation. I find it curious because when you’re in it, living the home ed life, socialisation is unconfined to scheduled ‘play time’ on tarmac squares with the same cohort of little people 5 days a week. I find it bizarre that that is the predominant perception of ideal child socialisation – and following orders I suppose.
Since starting to home educate we have met the most amazing, supportive and diverse group of people. We have an extensive network of wonderful friends, who we probably wouldn’t have crossed paths with otherwise.
One of the things I appreciate most about home educating, and particularly the network of people we have come to share a lot of our time with, is that kids and adults are all valued and encouraged to take up the space they need and are supported by each other in doing so. Each others’ time, space, curiosity and interests are genuinely valued. I’ve had fascinating conversations and brilliant experiences with the littlest of the kids and my two kids have been shown, inspired and emotionally supported by the grown-ups.
The social dynamics among the home ed kids are amazing to watch. From the group of older boys who slope off to build fortified dens and talk about their aspirations away from the grown-ups, to the little kids who tend to play closer and climb on any one of us for a reassuring hug or to announce a new discovery or idea.
Best of all, perhaps, is when these little groups come together as one big, chaotic but caring tribe. It’s nothing short of beautiful to see all the kids, across age groups and genders, play together.
They help each other, annoy each other, explain things to each other, look after one another.
And when they’re tired, hungry, and absolutely filthy, they come back to the grown-ups and share their experiences, ask questions, seek comfort, support, and validation. They can communicate with grown-ups without fear of speaking at the wrong time or being told to sit down and be quiet. They are genuinely heard and valued and more often than not they have brilliant, hilarious and interesting things to say.
In those who question whether my kids get enough socialisation, I wonder what they are expecting a ‘well socialised child’ to look and behave like.
My kids aren’t hidden away from the world, from people, or other kids. They’re living their lives in it, engaging with the full diversity of people around them and with the option to take time away, to think, plan, and do, independently.
